WestCoast Media
  • Local Events
    • Chino Events
    • Chino Hills Events
    • Corona Events
    • Diamond Bar Events
    • Eastvale Events
    • Orange County Events
    • Rancho Cucamonga Events
  • Beauty & Health
    • Eat, Drink, and Be Responsibly Merry
      more
      View more

      Eat, Drink, and Be Responsibly Merry

      7 months ago
    • Eating Under the Influence
      more
      View more

      Eating Under the Influence

      8 months ago
    • There’s Nothing Wrong with Wanting to Get Away
      more
      View more

      There’s Nothing Wrong with Wanting to Get Away

      9 months ago
    • Silence Anyone?
      more
      View more

      Silence Anyone?

      9 months ago
    • How Does Diagnostic Imaging Factor into Breast Cancer Screening?
      more
      View more

      How Does Diagnostic Imaging Factor into Breast Cancer Screening?

      9 months ago
  • Home
    • Simple Checklist for Hosts and Guests!
      more
      View more

      Simple Checklist for Hosts and Guests!

      7 months ago
    • International Holiday Side Dishes
      more
      View more

      International Holiday Side Dishes

      7 months ago
    • Creating a Better Guest Room
      more
      View more

      Creating a Better Guest Room

      8 months ago
    • Liven Up Your Annual Gatherings
      more
      View more

      Liven Up Your Annual Gatherings

      8 months ago
    • The Perfect Soirée
      more
      View more

      The Perfect Soirée

      8 months ago
  • Family
    • How to Get Kids In the Holiday Spirit
      more
      View more

      How to Get Kids In the Holiday Spirit

      6 months ago
    • How to Create Memorable Holidays for Your Children
      more
      View more

      How to Create Memorable Holidays for Your Children

      8 months ago
    • 25 Ways to Keep the Magic of Christmas Alive
      more
      View more

      25 Ways to Keep the Magic of Christmas Alive

      9 months ago
    • Dear Doctor…
      more
      View more

      Dear Doctor…

      9 months ago
    • Teaching Your Children to Find Contentment in a Culture of Comparison
      more
      View more

      Teaching Your Children to Find Contentment in a Culture of Comparison

      1 year ago
  • Lifestyle
  • Business & Finance
    • Why Ownership Matters
      more
      View more

      Why Ownership Matters

      1 year ago
    • Funny Money, Along with Pocket Change
      more
      View more

      Funny Money, Along with Pocket Change

      1 year ago
    • Is It OK for You to Be More Successful?
      more
      View more

      Is It OK for You to Be More Successful?

      2 years ago
    • Don’t Believe Me? Just Watch!
      more
      View more

      Don’t Believe Me? Just Watch!

      2 years ago
    • New Year’s Resolutions for Your Estate Plan
      more
      View more

      New Year’s Resolutions for Your Estate Plan

      2 years ago
  • Auto & Insurance
  • Spotlight
    • American Spirit
    • Mamalog
    • Head to Toe Trends
    • Carrying on Kennedy’s Voice
    • Get Local
    • IPittytheBull
  • About Us
    • Media Kit
    • About Us
    • Our Team
    • Testimonials
    • Contact Us
    • Distribution
  • Like Us!
  • Local Events
    • Chino Events
    • Chino Hills Events
    • Corona Events
    • Diamond Bar Events
    • Eastvale Events
    • Orange County Events
    • Rancho Cucamonga Events
  • Beauty & Health
    • Eat, Drink, and Be Responsibly Merry
      more
      View more

      Eat, Drink, and Be Responsibly Merry

      7 months ago
    • Eating Under the Influence
      more
      View more

      Eating Under the Influence

      8 months ago
    • There’s Nothing Wrong with Wanting to Get Away
      more
      View more

      There’s Nothing Wrong with Wanting to Get Away

      9 months ago
    • Silence Anyone?
      more
      View more

      Silence Anyone?

      9 months ago
    • How Does Diagnostic Imaging Factor into Breast Cancer Screening?
      more
      View more

      How Does Diagnostic Imaging Factor into Breast Cancer Screening?

      9 months ago
  • Home
    • Simple Checklist for Hosts and Guests!
      more
      View more

      Simple Checklist for Hosts and Guests!

      7 months ago
    • International Holiday Side Dishes
      more
      View more

      International Holiday Side Dishes

      7 months ago
    • Creating a Better Guest Room
      more
      View more

      Creating a Better Guest Room

      8 months ago
    • Liven Up Your Annual Gatherings
      more
      View more

      Liven Up Your Annual Gatherings

      8 months ago
    • The Perfect Soirée
      more
      View more

      The Perfect Soirée

      8 months ago
  • Family
    • How to Get Kids In the Holiday Spirit
      more
      View more

      How to Get Kids In the Holiday Spirit

      6 months ago
    • How to Create Memorable Holidays for Your Children
      more
      View more

      How to Create Memorable Holidays for Your Children

      8 months ago
    • 25 Ways to Keep the Magic of Christmas Alive
      more
      View more

      25 Ways to Keep the Magic of Christmas Alive

      9 months ago
    • Dear Doctor…
      more
      View more

      Dear Doctor…

      9 months ago
    • Teaching Your Children to Find Contentment in a Culture of Comparison
      more
      View more

      Teaching Your Children to Find Contentment in a Culture of Comparison

      1 year ago
  • Lifestyle
  • Business & Finance
    • Why Ownership Matters
      more
      View more

      Why Ownership Matters

      1 year ago
    • Funny Money, Along with Pocket Change
      more
      View more

      Funny Money, Along with Pocket Change

      1 year ago
    • Is It OK for You to Be More Successful?
      more
      View more

      Is It OK for You to Be More Successful?

      2 years ago
    • Don’t Believe Me? Just Watch!
      more
      View more

      Don’t Believe Me? Just Watch!

      2 years ago
    • New Year’s Resolutions for Your Estate Plan
      more
      View more

      New Year’s Resolutions for Your Estate Plan

      2 years ago
  • Auto & Insurance
  • Spotlight
    • American Spirit
    • Mamalog
    • Head to Toe Trends
    • Carrying on Kennedy’s Voice
    • Get Local
    • IPittytheBull
  • About Us
    • Media Kit
    • About Us
    • Our Team
    • Testimonials
    • Contact Us
    • Distribution
  • Like Us!
The Better Man
Good Reads

The Better Man

  • WCM by WCM
  • November 22, 2021
  • 0
  • 1215

“Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it – what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.”  ~Carlos Castaneda

This quote has always resonated with me. I don’t know about you, but I for one struggle with the right balance of healthy self-respect for myself and being a humble and patient man when others intentionally offend me. In my mind, the Clint Eastwood in me wants to light a stick of dynamite with my cigar and toss it at the offender while I walk off into the sunset, but the rational side of me genuinely wants to respond like my real-life heroes by being a classic gentleman and just counting it as a moment of weakness in the person’s character. I’m torn between standing my ground and showing some backbone while my cape blows in the wind like Superman, or being the mild-mannered Clark Kent who exudes self-control and knows how to bridle his strength.

For men, confidence and self-respect are traits of masculinity that are promoted and encouraged as a badge of honor and admired by others when displayed in the right context. It’s no wonder we men earnestly pursue these attributes, though we may stumble and miss the target of our intent. Real confidence for me starts with being honest with myself in knowing the limitations of my character and abilities, and not masking or minimizing my own flaws. My self-respect is defined by who I am behind closed doors, not who I am when others are around.

I continually conduct my own mental debrief after situations that don’t turn out too well, and I usually find the common denominator is my exaggerated sense of self-importance. If I’m honest with myself, it’s much easier to accuse others of a lack of consideration, sensitivity, or social graces. Blaming others for my own actions will always leave me suffering as the victim and feeling helpless to change. My feelings get hurt, I respond selfishly, I get the same reaction from the offender, and then I wonder why things always end up the same. It’s the proverbial flawed condition of humanity of hitting your thumb with a hammer because it feels so good when you stop.

Self-importance always carries a presumption that others will treat me as I think I should be treated, and it always disappoints. Self-importance makes me even more vulnerable to things I’m trying so hard to avoid like hurt feelings, being taken for granted, not being taken seriously, resentment of others – and the list goes on. On the other hand, being humble and unpretending offers me a healthy approach in relationships by reminding me of my own weaknesses, and to respond with the dignity and sensitivity I seek from others because our failings are similar. When I take a step back and allow more room for others to make mistakes, I find the increase in tolerance gives me a much greater capacity to find forgiveness and acceptance for them and for myself.

When I think my sense of self-importance is a proficiency that has facilitated any type of success, I must remember all strengths become a weakness when they’re overused. Self-importance can be a poison to my character, which numbs my ability to love, feel content, and use my common sense.

As I see it, if I have to tell others how important I am, then I’m not as important as I may think. The bottom line is to not take yourself so seriously. See your physical therapist and have them adjust your funny bone so you can find more to laugh about, starting with yourself. I realize this may seem elementary and just a “Band-Aid” remedy for much deeper issues, but even a Band-Aid starts the healing process. 

As I walk my journey to be a better man, I must choose to swallow my pride as I would a life-saving medicine, so I am fully restored to make the necessary changes to be the man I’ve always wanted to be.

Dennis Muñoz is a freelance writer, local author, and family man

  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
Reader's Favorite Articles
  • Loretta Baylos from Ontario, CA, Cervical Cancer Advocate

    Ignite the Fight Against Cervical Cancer

    • 110
    • 12734
  • teen-violence and bullying

    3 Ways to Prevent Teen Violence

    • 81
    • 11282
  • Riverside's-Mission-Inn-Festival-of-Lights

    Christmas Lights in the Inland Empire

    • 61
    • 9394
  • Digital Magazine

    • 74
    • 8634
Adversiting
lewisfamily
New On Our Facebook
Advertising

Related posts

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Previous Post

Dealing with Social Anxiety

by WCM

The Better Man
Next Post

Simple Checklist for Hosts and Guests!

by WCM

The Better Man
Instagram
    The user currently does not have any images...
Newsletter

Archives
Search
GET IN TOUCH

6939 Schaefer Ave., Ste D-138, Chino, CA 91710
909.390.5727 • info@wcmagazines.com

Copyright WestCoast Media. All rights reserved. www.wcmagazines.com Reproduction without permission is prohibited.