Some people slide into the end of the year thinking “better luck next year” about their goals and dreams. They often cite the busy-ness and exhaustion of the holidays as reasons why they can’t begin a new project or double down on a goal.
But other people crash through the finish line at the end of the year victorious, having used the final few months to complete projects and even launch new goals.
These people don’t necessarily have more stamina or willpower or time.
What they have is the right goals.
So many of us have “should” goals. I “should” lose 20 pounds. I “should” meditate more often. I “should” get my finances in order.
The problem with “should” goals is they almost never happen. The word “should” itself is the clue. If you “should” do something that means you aren’t actually doing it, yet it hangs over your head like a dark cloud of failure. And this sense of failure permeates everything you do – it’s a bad circle.
There’s a difference between “want to want to” goals and “want to and will” goals. Most “should” goals fall into the “want to want to” category. You generally want to lose those 20 pounds, but all of the reasons are superficial – they’re not connected to a deeper “why” that fires you up to do the actual work of the goal (meal planning, exercise, etc.).
“Want to and will” goals are based on two important factors:
Future Identity: Is this goal or activity relevant to my future identity, to how I see myself and what I see myself doing, over the long-term in the future?
Intrinsic Value: Is this goal or activity something I’m passionate about, would enjoy doing, would feel proud about, and contributes meaningfully to my life or others’?
I’m not saying to dump all of your “should” goals – you probably DO need to get your finances in order. I suggest that you look at those goals through the lenses of future identity and intrinsic value to determine if the goals are right for you right now.
Getting your finances in order could be deeply relevant to how you see yourself (brave, organized, confident about money) and might contribute meaningfully to your life by taking away the stress of not knowing where you stand financially and feeling proud that you’re actively planning for your future.
If so, stop “shoulding” on yourself and declare a bold goal that you WILL get your finances in order this year, and set action steps you can accomplish between now and New Year’s Eve (gather your bank and credit card statements and determine where your money is going, review your retirement plans, make an appointment with a financial planner, etc.).
If your goal doesn’t measure up, get it off your list. There’s nothing more defeating than to have a list of “shoulds” that you aren’t actively working on.
And with the goals you have left – the goals you want to and will accomplish – keep your “why” front of mind, remove distractions, and take one action every day that will ensure you cross that 2021 finish line strong!
Dianne Callahan is a local author, speaker, radio show host, and three-time cancer survivor. Her book Lighthearted Life: Simple strategies to live a joy-filled life even in the stormiest times is available on Amazon. Her next book, Journey Through Illness: A guidebook for a trip you never wanted to take, will be released this year.