Sometimes you and your partner spend so much time together it feels like everything they say or does gets on your nerves. It’s okay to admit it. The sooner you get comfortable admitting it, the sooner you’ll develop the necessary maturity to do something about it.
Many couples find the thought of wanting to get away from their significant other contrary to what they believe a commitment should be – which is short-sighted. The truth is, they should want to get away, as getting away may be the only way to prevent the relationship from heading down a dangerous path.
When you feel your relationship is stuck in a rut and your partner keeps getting on your nerves, your frustration may pile up and push you to do/say things you’ll regret. You might end up damaging the relationship if you don’t find a different way to vent. It’s dangerous to let a relationship rot in idleness, just as it’s dangerous to let your partner’s antics pile up to a point where you resent their presence around you. Once you understand the consequences of not giving yourself a breather, you’ll realize it’s indeed foolish not to allow yourself personal quality time to rejuvenate.
No matter how much you love your partner, if you spend every waking hour tied to the same person, you’re bound to get bored. If you do nothing about the boredom and allow it to turn into resentment, it could turn you against each other over issues that are petty and not worth the argument. If the artificial friction isn’t properly contained, it can reach a boiling point where emotionally-charged words are exchanged, causing irreparable harm.
Just like in the workplace, where if you had to spend one more hour with coworkers you’d spent the whole day with, it would be natural to grow tired of your surroundings – the same applies to your partner and your relationship. There’s no shame in admitting you’re tired of your partner and need to get away for a while. In fact, it’s the smartest thing to do if you’re interested in preserving the peace and sustainability of your relationship.
When you and your partner make sure each of you gets some personal time away from the relationship to replenish your energy and refuel your commitment, your relationship’s long-term prospect stays promising.
Not only should you allow your partner to take a break, you should openly and enthusiastically encourage them to take a breather and come back refreshed. The same way you get tired of your partner, they get tired of you as well; if you need to step away to rejuvenate, then the opposite also holds true.
The responsibility of keeping the fire in the relationship falls on you both. As much as you should hold yourself accountable for catching a breather once in a while, you should encourage your partner to do the same and work on preserving your relationship together.
Dr. Tseday Aberra is a clinical psychologist and one of the country’s leading experts in marriage, relationships, and self-development